You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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