she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
