My Higher Power is John Stamos
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Congratulations! We have a period
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