In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Say something about gay babies.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
