So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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