Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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