i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
