I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
