I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I want a musical about memes.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
