It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He kissed a someone with a penis
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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