Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Randomize
