We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
