What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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