I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
