I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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