so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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