And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
