Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
