giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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