I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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