I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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