he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
