Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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