I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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