i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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