Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
