A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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