i jhust puked up my retainher.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
