his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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