Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
