I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
