he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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