Just cropdusted the office
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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