dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
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