Well douche your snatch and let's go!
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
