just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
