You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
