im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
