my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
