Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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