She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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