she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize