No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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