He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize