you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
