you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
