So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
