We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Barsexuality is the new black.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It's rum buckets o'clock
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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