I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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