we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
