Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
