every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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