if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Is it because I queefed?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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