on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
