All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
