I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
