i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
