Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
