We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
